She kept reading the simple breakup text he sent her with tear-laden eyes. She kept thinking why she wasn’t lucky with men. She lifted up her head to examine her tear-wrecked face in the mirror. Her once glowing dark brown eyes are now glassy from the tears she shed on a roller coaster since she received the text.
How her bright coconut rich brown skin still managed to shine through still marvelled her; she felt like her skin should go rusty now or wilt away or something. What was her life going to be like now? She couldn’t imagine staying single again at Age 26. She absentmindedly touched her face and turned it to the left and right, observing the lines of tears.
She had been noticing how distant they had been growing apart but she kept telling herself they were fine. She insisted on practicing acts of love as she always did- Did his chores, made sure she prepared delicious meals for him even when he stopped giving her money to do so.
His response then, ‘I’m expecting a huge sum from this contract. Once they send it in, I’ll pay you all I owe you, even double.’ His strong manly voice assured her beyond reasonable doubts
‘I don’t mind, Honey. This is an investment for us, right?’ She replied to him with a soft, loving voice.
He displayed a casual yet cute smile that usually swept her off her feet.
Little did she know he nursed a time when he’d eventually break up with her.
‘God what was she to do with her life now?’ She questioned within herself as she finally dropped her phone on the table and dragged herself to her bedside after picking up her pack of wipes on the table just in front of her medium-sized dressing mirror.
She popped open the lid and reeled out a ply to dab the tears off her face.
She ignored the comforts of the soft bed as she sat on it now while cleaning her eyes with the wipes. Even her framed cursive art deco on the bright white wall opposite her, with the words ‘I can do all things through Christ…’ could not jolt her out of this pain. This was too much of a luxury at the moment. She continued thinking about what her life would be in the coming months.
Her phone suddenly buzzed from where she had left it on the table.
‘Who could possibly be calling her at this time and an unexpected hour?’ She thought
It was her friend Ngowari, and she knew she wouldn’t stop calling until she picked up the phone.
“How far, babe?” Comes Ngowari’s thick voice
“I’m good.” She managed to reply in a fine tone.
“I hope you will be coming for the church program I told you about. It’s happening today. Live and direct”
“I’m so not in the mood for any singles programme right now.”
“Oh, because you are in a relationship now. You’re feeling like you are married already? See, until you say ‘I do’ at the altar, you are still single o”
“Ngowari, you don’t have to remind me again that I’m still not yet married.”
“Don’t worry, you will be. Just come for this programme; that’s all. I don’t mind coming over to your place this evening. Your logistics is on me.”
“Okay, suit yourself.”
“Sure I will, but how far, Bobo, now?”
“He’s fine.” She didn’t want to disclose any more than that.
“You keep saying that. Give me small gist now, Ibitein,’ Ngowari persisted
“Girl, I am ok. There’s no gist.” Ibitein yelled
“Ha, someone is having a bad day. Or did you both quarrel?” Ngowari poked further
“I know you don’t take no for an answer. See your head.” Ibitein giggled
Ngowari chuckled
“Before Nko. If it’s any other person, what’s my business? But for you, no way. I must get to the root of everything that’s up with you.”
“You win.”
“So, is that the case?”
“Ngo! Get off my phone. I’m not doing this today.”
Ngowari chortled
“Or tomorrow?”
“Goodbye Ngo” She ends the call with a side grin.
What a heck of a friend.
In the evening, She got ready as fast as she could and opened the door once she peeped and saw her.
Ngowari stood aghasted in her dark purple knee length dress with her mini black bag tucked under her armpit. Ibitein was only slightly taller than her but she was chubbier and fairer in complexion.
“Did you put a surveillance camera on your door?”
“I sure did, let’s start going Ngo”
Ibitein walked ahead of her towards her car and they both hopped in.
In a few minutes time, they were inside the vast church compound.
The ushers in corporate outfits were waving their hands and smiling at them ushering them into church with graceful salutations
“Welcome to Church” They resounded one after the other in a row making them feel like royalties.
Ibitein shook her head as she watched Ngowari as she smiled from molar to molar, forming familiarity with the ushers.
She wondered how they even became friends.
Ngowari approached her on her first day in their uni days requesting she assisted her with her notes and that was were they birthed their friendship.
And ever since then their friendship has grown into some kind of sisterhood. They are always looking out for each other. She quickly remembered the verse that said, ‘There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother’
Ngowari was that kind of friend to her.
***
They were barely settled after the powerful choir ministration that threatened to pull the roof and rain down heaven when the Pastor who just mounted the podium declared loudly,
‘You are not defined by your social status neither are you defined by your relationship status…’
The words struck Ibitein as if he was speaking directly to her and she began to sweat a little bit despite the A.C blowing inside the large church. This particular standing A.C was even facing her directly from behind where they were seated.
“You are defined by What God says in his word…” the Pastor continued and went deep into his sermon.
His words fade out as Ibitein got buried in her thoughts. Of course this wasn’t the first time she was hearing a sermon but this one hit her. More like the Pastor had her in mind and was just here to dissect her entire life.
What more could be meaningful than having a great buddy relationship and beat her target of getting married by age 24. Plus now she was already behind schedule.
‘I thought God is a prayer answering God,’ She questioned within her.
She recalled praying all she could and how she desired this marriage at age 24 but alas she was still nursing another heart break
while at the door of 26.
Meanwhile her friend, Tonye got married as early as 23. They graduated together and now she was carrying her first child.
‘Why is life so impartial.’ She thought again.
Ngowari’s pinch jolted her back to the sermon.
Her face squeezed in pain.
“What now?”
“Noticed your mind drifted, everyone has been shouting hallelujah and claiming what the pastor said except you” Ngowari whispered
“Ngo, Shay I’m here now, let me be now!” Ibitein replied back in a low agitated tone.
“Babe, there’s something you are not sharing. You can share with me now” Ngowari teased and gave way to a little smile.
Ibitein shook her head while she looked away and struggled to ensure the tears did not build up again.
“No problem after today’s program, we can talk about it” Ngowari concluded.
Ibitein gazed at the Pastor again.
Within her she kept thinking about her recent breakup. His tall height, dark ebony skin and manly voice wasn’t something she could forget so easily.
She was trying to find some consolation in the preaching when the Pastor’s words hit her again.
“Every sin one makes is outside the body but the sin of fornication is the sin against your body which is the temple of the Holy Ghost”
“Hmm, did the Pastor see her in his dreams today?” She questioned within herself.
She could remember when Tubonemi had wanted her badly and he promised to marry her.
She thought to herself then.
“Why would she hold back from him, seeing she loved him too”
The torture of not giving in hunted her for days till she finally gave in.
He even made her exchange vows with him, saying he was not going to break it.
He had backed it up with a scripture that stated “Whatever two or three agree on earth, it shall be bound in heaven”
It was not after the whole sinful event that she inquired from him what would have been the fate of their relationship if she hadn’t accepted to commit her body that he noted without any form of remorse that he would have ended their relationship.
At that moment, she felt deeply ashamed of what she just did. She couldn’t even imagine herself telling Ngowari despite how close they were. Ngowari would seriously have been angry with her.
“How would you have given in to a man, that’s not yet your husband?” Ngowari would have fired at her
So, it was better for her to carry this secret to the grave.
But deep down she was so sorry for letting him have his way and now Pastor comes to hammer on this.
This explains all the struggles she’s been having with prayer.
She would start and mumble a few words and then, either doze off or get distracted by some random thought that she couldn’t even remember she wanted to pray anymore.
Her emotions kept taking the best of her even when He began to abuse her verbally.
“What didn’t she tolerate from him all because she craved being married to him”
She was right on time to sight Ngowari’s hand coming to pinch her again and she grabbed her hand this time.
Ibitein’s face squeezed with disgust staring at Ngowari who was sitting next to her in this church service that threatened to rip her heart apart and judge her for all her misdeeds.
“Was this God’s way of punishing her for not listening to his voice and succumbing to the voice of desperation? But God should understand, her target for being single was way up” Ibitein thought
Ngowari replaced her initial attempt to pinch her with a tap on her lap and advised,
“Babe, you just need to be present so you can participate and be blessed in the service of today. Whatever it is that’s troubling you be it man issues or anything at all, just lay them at the feet of Jesus”
Ibitein forced a smile and nodded her head.
She understood that she had a lot of explaining to do after service. She knew her friend would not let this absentmindedness of hers pass by without getting to the root of it.
“Where did she go wrong with wanting the good things of life? Or was it that something was strongly fighting her happiness? The devil of course!” Ibitein pondered
“If you are in dire need of God’s mercy or forgiveness, make your way to the altar now. Don’t be ashamed, Jesus wasn’t ashamed of taking all your shame on the cross but you have to stop crucifying him over again” The pastors voice resounded and this time Ibitein being touched by the word got to her feet and joined the robust queue of people who trooped to the altar.
She didn’t even stop to glance at Ngowari after all,
“She was the one experiencing the pain of heartbreak. The feeling that was tearing her within. The nonsense women faced from useless men who disregard their sacrifices was just pitiable. See her life now, after everything, she was still back to square one. At this point, she would block her ears to anything marriage and just reconcile with God, serving him all the days of her life” Ibitein settled within her
Getting to the front of the altar, they all raised their hands and waved it in worship and surrender to God.
Ibitein was already shedding tears.
The guilt she felt could only be taken off her by God.
“How did she? A born into the church breed sink so low to do what she did just because she wanted to fast track her marriage that was never meant to happen in the first place?”
The tears continued to pour down that she began wiping them with one hand while the other remained raised
The lady beside her gave way to a loud shout and fell under the anointing while the ushers rushed to cover her up with a wide wrapper.
But she remained focus on God with her eyes tightly closed.
“Oh God bid me come today. I’ve messed up big time and you are the only one who can fix me. I feel so dirty inside. So incomplete Lord. Please have mercy and fill me with your love and beauty afresh. I want to see beauty in my life again’
Ibitein’s mouth was still limping. Like Hannah at Shiloh, her mouth was moving yet no sound came out. She felt a hand on her head. It was then she opened her eyes and realized the Pastor was touching their heads one after the other.
Soon after the whole service, Ibitien and Ngowari found their way into the car.
The night was far spent, stars already twinkling in the sky and the cool evening breeze caressed their skin.
“Now, weren’t you happy you came for service. Look at how you’re smiling” Ngowari nudged at her.
Ibitien nodded,
“ My dear, I’m glad I’m in a different place now. Truth is, one has to know how to come out of a bad state quickly and get into their happy place. Oftentimes, I wish life could just give you all you wish for, like you don’t have to fight over anything”
Ngowari laughed as she adjusted her seat belt in her car.
“Even the Bible says the violent takes it by force. It’s fight all the way girl. Fight to keep your peace and happiness. Meanwhile, what’s up with you and your guy?”
Ibitein also fastened her seat belt and fixed it in place.
“My dear, I would not be seeing him again “
“Why?” Ngowari inquired in a high, disturbing tone.
“Imagine, he casually called off our relationship”
“ Why I’m I not surprised? It was written all over you. I just didn’t want to accept it, why did he do that? A casual break up after all you’ve been through?”
Ibitein gave off a lean smile.
“He was expecting I’ll beg him. That I won’t be able to do anything without him”
Ngowari turned on the car and engaged the gear so that they could start going.
“He must be joking. Because he’s what? The resurrection and the life?” Ngowari chuckled
Ibitein joined her.
“My dear, you could as well say Breath of life.”
They both burst into laughter.
They meandered their way through the queue of cars lined up to drive out of church and advanced towards the gate.
By both passenger walk ways, congregants trooped out of the church compound.
“Ha, I feel much better” Ibitein declared with a sigh of relief.
Ngowari used one hand to touch her friend’s lap briefly while she held the steering firm with the other hand as she wheeled the steering and they drove out of church.
The ushers controlled the traffic and one waved them good bye.
“Remain blessed sisters” He echoed.
“Remain blessed Brother” Ngowari and Ibitein chorused.
“These ushers are trying o. Ibitein, when are we going to join a group in church at least?”
“Ngo, it’s time o. Time is choking that you barely have time left to do much”
“Time?” Ngowari resounded
“But you get time to go and visit man Abi?The man that is out to destroy your life instead of the man that’s ever ready to save you ”
Ibitein gave her a harsh stare.
“Babes, Shay it’s to fire me this night that you’re up to?”
“Fire you? My sis, not at all! I’m just like why do we find time for other things except time for God. Like we practically take our time to do every other thing – Work, Career, Hangouts, Movies and so on but God, it takes his grace to find time to serve him or create fellowship time for him” Ngowari queried
Ibitein paused being hit with the truth.
Was that the reason she had poured out her heart into their relationship and neglected God all these while? Now that’s she’s back to status quo. She really needed to make up for lost times with God.
She promised herself that she would never give God the back seat in their life neither would she let anything else make her so desperate and take God’s place. She recalled how she struggled to call him back to beg him but her pride too wouldn’t let her. Thank God she fought it over and didn’t call him back at the end
“Is someone thinking about their sins and how to come out?” Ngowari interrupted her thoughts
******
Ibitein smiled at Ngowari as they drove home. She was already visualizing her life now returning back to single hood. But this time, she didn’t feel less of herself. She didn’t feel like she couldn’t stay without a man.
“My identity is buried in God and not in any man including me. If God says I’m worth it, He’s the one that created me so I am worth it. I would raise my head high and damn my past mistakes. I would make up for the wrong by spending quality time with God. So help me God” Ibitien prayed within her.
Ngowari turned on her phone and played Mercy Chinwo’s latest song, ‘Too many reasons’ and got them nodding to the music as they drove down the tarred and less busy streets.
Some Traders in sight were shutting down their shops for the day.
Once they got to Ibitein’s gate, Ngowari slowed down and parked by her gigantic black gate.
“Girl, we would schedule another time to talk about your man issues. Maybe over a nice pizza at a cozy fast food” Ngowari winked at her as Ibitein alighted her car.
“No problem dear. Thank you for being there for me. You’ve been such a life saver” Ibitein appreciated.
Ngowari gave way to a wide smile
“What are friends for?”
“You can say that again Ngo. Alright catch you up later” Ibitein waved at her as she drove away and happily entered into her compund.
She shared this compound with two other neighbors but it was strictly on mind yourself basis.
She was glad her parents left her to practice a bit of independence because at the end of the day, she would leave their house.
She considered it wise to begin practicing now.
Tomorrow was the beginning of the new work week and she had to prepare for work. She got into her portable apartment and headed for her bed.
As she laid down facing the ceiling, she travelled in her thoughts to the lessons she gained from her recent breakup experience. Maybe she could begin some journaling as a reminder that she shouldn’t compromise on any relationship going forward.
Each time she tried to cut corners in her previous relationships, they always ended up in tears.
But with this new experience, she won’t be needing to cut corners. It’s either God’s way or No way at all.
Gone are the days when she would believe research that men are scarce so hold onto the one you have even if he’s doing nonsense.
With a smile on her face she tilted her head to the side and soon dozed off.
******
Ibitein walked into her office in high spirits. It was a portable office with A.c, three wooden tables and chairs where she worked as a vendor’s management officer. The steel filing cabinet was placed to the left at the entrance of the office, directly facing the chair and tables.
She sat down and unpacked her laptop bag. She had come early before everyone else as her usual practice. She recalled her outing with Ngowari later today.
She just couldn’t wait for it. She’s been getting this prompting lately, whenever her eye twitched profusely she considered it a sign of something bad about to happen and over time it has proved to be correct.
She doesn’t want to recollect other times when it happened and the bad incidents that followed- how she lost her phone, got into a heated quarrel with Tubo, lost money to a Ponzi scheme.
And now, what was this one pointing to? She wondered.
She opened her laptop and began working on her reports to deliver.
Not too long, her fellow colleagues came in and got busy on their laptop as well. She usually liked to mind her business. She inserted her ear phones into her ears so she gets to listen to her favorite gospel songs.
“Ibitein are you done with the report?” Her direct line manager Mr Ala questioned as he opened their office and broke into her quiet and peaceful morning.
She grumbled within her, This her workaholic of a boss that makes her feel like she’s not working most of the time even though she admired his work ethic.
“I’m almost done. Once I finish, I’ll send it to you for review” She responded
“Okay. That’s good” He replied and shut the door
Her eyes met briefly with Sandra – her colleague who has been giving her attitude lately because she saw her as a threat but she cared less.
Her phone buzzed beside her laptop. She peeped to see it was Ngowari.
“Ngowari. Please let me call you back” she replied in hurried tone and put off her phone.
She quickly resumed her job despite the peering eyes of her colleagues. In a few minutes, she was done and sent him the mail.
She got up from her seat, adjusted her straight and fitted corporate black dress, with her pumps making koi koi sounds as it hit the floor, she hastened out of the office to inform her boss, Mr Ala that she just sent the email.
When she got a ‘come in’ from behind the door by knocking on his door, she opened the door and stepped in.
‘Well done Ibitein. I’m just looking at your report and you did a great job. Would you mind if I reward you for this?’ Mr Ala’s strong tenor voice resounded
A smile creased her face.
‘Thank you Mr Ala. Your support also helped me scale through and sure I would love to get your reward’
‘Interesting! You know I don’t go out a lot. I’m always seated behind my laptop, burying my head in work but I would love to do something different. I know you are knowledgeable of cozy eateries around. Would you mind taking me to one of them?’
Her eyes brightened with happiness and she nodded.
‘That wouldn’t be a problem Mr Ala, when would you be free. You know even on weekends you are busy with work and your lecturing classes’
‘I know. Ok you know what? Let’s make it this weekend by noon. I believe I should have completed my lecturing sessions by then. It wouldn’t mind to see around town for few hours right?’
‘Sure. I’ll look up a place and share the details with you. Thank you so much for your kindness’
‘It’s nothing. You are such a hardworking staff with an amazing work ethic which I admire. I love your zeal to learn at any task you are given.’
‘Thank you Mr Ala’ she blushed.
On her way out, She gave way to few dance moves..
She couldn’t wait to tell Ngowari later today about this new development.
‘And you said yes to a date with your boss?’ Ngowari yelled as they sat out in a fastfood after work as they waited for their pizza.
‘Date ke? He never mentioned a date. He only said he doesn’t go out much which everyone knows that he’s a workaholic. And he won’t be interested in me, why would he? I’m not his type now. I’m his junior and I don’t have as much high an IQ as himself. I still look up to him as a career mentor so why would he want anything to do with me?’ Ibitein retorted
Ngowari clapped her hands and laughed.
‘Oh. My friend Ibitein, what a speech! You are arranging a date venue. Ok. Fine Shay I’m here. I’ll be waiting when you come back with the full gist’
‘Ngowari, there’s nothing like that. You too carry things go far. You’re over thinking things jare. Besides, he has strong work ethics and won’t want any self interest threat by dating someone in his department. Haba! We are professionals now and he too is a strong Christian. He doesn’t mess around with all those busybody ladies in our department’
Ngowari nods with a surprised look on her face.
‘I see Shay I’m here, we will know how the story would end’
She burst out laughing again and Ibitein shook her head in disbelief at her reactions.
******
Ibitein glowed in her electrifying light-pink-coloured dress as she walked side by side Mr Ala who was just casually dressed, to find a nice seat at the classic restaurant.
Months after her heartbreak had left her focused on God, church activities and work.
Surprisingly, she still hasn’t told Ngowari about her break up.
How busy life could get. She presumed she could already get the fillers that something was up.
They ended up talking about her current meet up with Mr Ala and forgot to talk about her man issues as Ngowari usually called it.
Mr Ala smiled at her and gently pulled out a seat for her.
She knew him to be a fine gentleman but he was sweeping her off her feet today.
She felt her head would explode with excitement.
She was feeling this way and not wanting to think about what Ngowari mentioned before her coming here.
Ngowari really took things so far.
“Feel free to pick what you want to eat. Whatever you choose will be fine for both of us”
Ngowari would hear plenty gist today, Ibitein thought within her.
“Okay” Ibitein responded and beckoned on the waiter.
The waiter handed her the menu and Ibitein scanned through it, observing through her side eye how Mr Ala was admiring the place by looking around. She wondered how appreciative he must be of her choice.
“Nice ambience!” He exclaimed
“Yeah, that’s why I chose this place” Ibitien concurred.
She placed their order of champman drink and jamabalaya rice, prawns and peppered chicken.
Mr Ala only added bottle water to her order and that was it.
The waiter went off ticking off on his joter their order.
“I’m surprised you created time out of your busy schedule to go out” Ibitein smiled at him
Mr Ala nodded
“Once in a while, it’s good to go off your regular routine and create room for the new”
“Hmm, I see. Interesting! I just hope you are not still thinking about work now” Ibitein added
“At least I can only get to think about it and not do it”
“Yeah you are right about that” Ibitein concurred and she scanned through his collared polo shirt and grey jeans.
“I rarely see you on casual wear. I’m wondering why you choose to look casual for this outing”
Mr Ala took a second look at his outfit.
“You don’t like it?”
“No, I didn’t say that. It’s a cool jeans and polo just that I’m not so used to seeing you in casuals. You know, you are always serious. Knotted tie most times and tucked in shirts”
Mr Ala laughed
“Too much for being a boss right? But you on the other hand you are looking really gorgeous today. I love your dress and the fancy colour plus your hair “
Ibitein dressed her curls a little.
“Thank you”
“You’re welcome. I bet your boyfriend must be proud to have you”
“What boyfriend? You know no one has gotten the chance yet to occupy any space in my heart”
His eyes widened with shock.
“I used to think you were engaged to be married. You wore a ring around your finger sometime”
Her mouth threw wide open.
“You noticed that one too? Ah Mr Ala, and you will be doing like you are not seeing me at all. I thought you used to focus on only work”
He laughed again, this time revealing his shiny white teeth.
“Oh because I work so hard, I should be oblivious of what’s happening around me? Hell No! Besides I see how all those guys from other departments flock around you like you are a huge prize to be won”
She rolled her eyes a bit.
“Don’t mind those guys, them no reach!”
He nodded.
“I see.”
The waiter came in with their food. The soothing soft tunes that played in the background made it easy for them to relax and chat more while they ate.
They ranted about the office and their colleagues at work and talked about their personal lives too.
“You know, I always imagined you are in a serious relationship with a dedicated church sister. The standard that wrapped their heads well so it’s not exposed.”
“Really?” He laughed
Once they were done with their food and waited for the waiter to bring the bill, Mr Ala called her
‘Ibitein, I admire you and I don’t want to miss out on this opportunity to tell you that and I will love to register my interest in you.’
Ibitein felt her head was about to explode. She turned her gaze to the ground and prayed it opened up so she could just enter.
Ngowari would nail her on how she was so dumb that he was seeking a chance to date her.
.
*****
Ibitein guessed right. Ngowari could not stop laughing when she called her on the phone to tell her of the outing with Mr Ala.
Ibitien, while she talked, stood up, paced up and down and then sat up on her bed again.
“Babe, I felt like the ground should open and let me enter. I wasn’t expecting it at all,” Ibitein exclaimed
Ngowari laughed and spoke
“But I told you, you think this thing between Man and Woman, God no know wetin e dey do?”
“Girl, this one took me of guard”
“Now you know, what is your take?” Ngowari’s tone demanding as usual when matters like this arise.
“My dear, I am confused” Ibitien voice cracked with emotion.
“Do you love him?”
Ngowaris sharp tone sliced through her.
“I admire his personality and his dedication to his work, and he seems to me a devout Christian. But he’s serious type shouldn’t be interested in a chatty person like me.”
Ngowari’s eyes widened and she fired
“See what you are saying. You too can be serious when you want to; the most important question you should be asking here is if he is a true child of God.”
“Ngo, I can’t dispute that fact.”
“Then you should consider him.”
“But…”
“No buts. From what you have described, he seems to be a good person. I know you fear that he’s your boss, but people still marry their bosses. Besides, both of you are single and in the same line of work. I believe it’s a fantastic combo.”
“You know what? Let me process this on my own. Thank you for your advice.”
“You are welcome, dear, and I am here should you need me for more advice.”
“Sure”
The lines went off, and Ibitein lay flat on her bed and faced the ceiling. A lot of thoughts running through her mind.
“God, how do I do this type of relationship? I have not dated anyone in my office before; plus, I just look up to him as a career mentor and boss. How would this now turn into a romantic relationship that would eventually lead to marriage and us sleeping in the same bed, waking up to seeing each other everyday. God please help me.”
She kept battling the thoughts in her mind.
To be continued in the next season.
P.S Read the next few pages of my story for free here
